I hate "putting in time" with people. It happened this weekend, it may happen again. Ultimately I'm sick of doing things with people because I feel like I owe them something. This is the reason that I have such an issue with gift-giving: I hate obligation. I hated Christmas for years because of the obligatory nature of giving gifts at that time. Maybe that has to do with my upbringing where I was always expected to give my father and step-mother not only a gift, but a good gift, before I was even old enough to hold a job (noting that I did, in fact, start my employment history at the tender age of 12!).
At any rate, my concern these days is "putting in time" because even more than money, which is decidedly lacking, my time has become extraordinarily precious. My plans this weekend were a quiet Friday night in with my partner - I was looking forward to relaxing, catching up on one another's weeks and enjoying an early bedtime, but ended up going out with friends that he made plans with and felt obligated to see even when the plans became fuzzy and fizzled. Maybe if we'd had fun, I would have felt it was worth it, but I truly don't believe any of the four of us actually had a good time or thought it was worth it. I think A just held to the plan because he felt he had made a commitment and wanted to hold to it - I think we have to find a balance between his serious commitment and my lasaiz-fair attitude about these things.
In the next seven weeks, while I wrap up school and try to balance my personal life, it's probably a great time to practice very conscious choice around how I spend my time. A good time to establish this good habit now before I have more time, because even when I have more time, I still don't want to waste a minute putting in time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment