Synchronicity

So, A and I went to the Police concert a while back and A can't stop talking about Synchronicity this and that. Mostly related the the album, but I keep staring the phenomenon in the face.

Synchronicity:
1 : the quality or fact of being synchronous (relating to occurring at the same time)
2 : the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality —used especially in the psychology of C. G. Jung

It's not really a psychic event of synchronicity that has happened, but several small coincidences that remind me of our web. A few years ago, my friend sent me Bill Bryson's In a Sunburned Country. Bryson traveled to Australia during the time that I happened to live there and described how several American divers were lost off the coast of Cairnes which happened just before I arrived! How unusual to read about my own experience (reading about this in the local paper) in someone else's book.

Another very similar one last night. I wanted to call A right away as he's the only one who shared this experience with me. When we were traveling on the east coast, we drove through Vermont, only stopping long enough to lose our camera at the post office at the state line and to eat in Queechee in a little diner I found online that specializes in local foods. Well, I couldn't have picked a more appropriate place, apparently, because Barbara Kingsolver, in her book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle describes visiting exactly this restaurant during her year of local food explorations. I don't think most people would think it was a big deal, but for me, it's like a brush with fame...one that makes me excited and also vaguely uncomfortable.

The One That Got Away

What a weekend. Reinforced one lesson for me: leave on a high note. Unfortunately, I may have overstayed this trip just a smidgen - I found myself complaining just a tad more than telling fun/funny stories. That's how I know when I've stayed too long. It was fun and there are many funny stories to tell, though. Here's my Top 5 for the weekend and one funny story that goes back a bit further:

1. Playing Cribbage - 2 player, 3 player and 4 player! At the cabin and home with Jefe.
2. Playing ImagineIff - what a fun game!
3. Getting to sing quite a bit of karaoke - and especially hearing A have such fun with his signature song: Karma Chameleon (which my gay friend later described, without knowing A's particular fondness for it, as the gayest song ever!)
4. 55 cent tacos from Bandito (not even on the mountain, but still a vital part of the weekend) followed by homemade blueberry frozen yogurt
5. Getting to know several new friends - which leads me to the story that goes back a bit further:

So, once upon a time, there was a time before A when I was Internet dating, as we call it. It started when I first moved to P____. I was moving here with a couple and wanted to meet some people right away so I started talking to people over the Internet before I got here. Well, I met an amazing guy and had a ready-made boyfriend by the time I arrived in town. My first night here, he took us out for delicious pizza, showed us the city lights by night and took us dancing at a fun blues club (oxymoron?). Though my ready-made boyfriend and I didn't last even long enough for me to get moved into my new apartment, the experience was generally a good one, so I kept Internet dating sporadically for the next several years.

One person that I met online seemed really nice, but also was clearly not ready to be dating yet, having only recently gotten out of a long term and serious relationship. I don't actually remember why we never met in person, but I recall that we both seemed to think the other person was pretty groovy, but something wasn't right, be it timing, chemistry or miscellaneous. Later, I was pretty sure that I saw this person come into the store I was working in as a cashier. I said nothing, wondering what the point would be.

Meanwhile, I had made a new girl friend that I really liked. As we got to know one another better, she told me about her most recent long term and serious relationship. It was like dejavu - I felt like I'd heard a similar tale before. It didn't take us long to make the connection that she was the ex-girlfriend of the man I described above! Boy, was I ever relieved that I hadn't gone out with him. And my relief was ten-fold when she told me I would meet him in person this weekend as he was coming along on our vacation, too. They are dating again and I couldn't be happier for them as they seem to compliment one another.

So, in addition to being glad that that one that got away, I'm so glad to have met and made another new friend, as I hope that he will turn out to be.

Famililar Faces

At the market, I saw a familiar face - in the space of seconds, I had identified him as someone I'd taken a class with several years ago. At the tea house, just as we were about to leave, a gentleman sat at the next table and I recognized the man who had first introduced me to the house. Now, third time, at a festival, not only do I see a man I'd previously dated, but he actually sat at the table with my group. I would ask if my past is catching up with me, but my past isn't that sordid a thing to catch up.

When I first moved to P___, I did date a lot and had many first dates. Usually, one of us just decided that we weren't compatible (or I thought the man was contemptable, but that's another series of stories!) so most of these never went anywhere that would catch up to me. But now that I'm running into all these men I've known, I guess I'm learning what a small city I really live in. Someone told me that humans evolved during a time when even the most gregarious humans, the traveling traders and storytellers, would only have met up to 200 people in their lifetime and would have trouble remembering them. I could probably name 200 people that I consider friends (obviously not all close) and I think my tally of acquaintances (people I've been introduced to and exchanged words) would be at least 1,000.

Add in the 6 degrees of separation, which I believe in as I continue to trace 6 degrees to the stars and it bears out, and we live on a small planet indeed. I wish others could see that and recognize the impact of their actions.

6 Degrees of Separation

My friend recently moved to New York for a new job and had very exciting news in her first email report about her new life. Her roommate's girlfriend, who may or may not be a model, was in a photo shoot and her roommate (the boyfriend) was asked to participate in the shoot too...and the photographer was none other than ANTM's Nigel Barker. It's disgusting, I know, but I love ANTM and have watched the show regularly since Season 2 (I caught Season 1 on syndication). I always feel the need to justify spending my time watching this show, but I really don't see how it's different from other reality shows which are also popular - I don't consider it any better or worse than Survivor, Amazing Race, Fear Factor, the Bachelor, etc - it's just about modeling and I find it appealing because 1. it doesn't involve eating disgusting things and 2. it's fundamentally about creating something beautiful.

Some of the girls come across as insipid and there are many a cat-fight, but this is the drama of reality television and it keeps us all coming back for more. We love to hate the stupid and adore our heroes. Incidentally, my hero is whoever thought of putting full episodes on the website - I don't have to set my VCR to record, I don't have to get Tivo or a DVR and I can still watch in my own time where ever or whenever!

At any rate, the point I'm trying to come to is that this 6 degrees of separation really is true! I know my friend, who knows her roommate, who has met Nigel Barker, who knows Tyra. That 4 degrees. I also know someone who has worked with Viggo Mortenson and Kenny Loggins - only 2 degrees. And if you consider who they know, it's a whole world of famous people that I'm within 6 degrees. I am an unabashed fan of the glitz of Hollywood, but I also have incredible discomfort around famous people - I once ran into Danny Glover at the juice bar and left immediately because I couldn't be that close...now, of course, I wish I would have thrown in a little "I'm getting too old for this shit" as I walked out.

So, consider this, how many degrees am I from any one person within the city where I reside? Not far and especially closer considering how many people I've dated in the almost 8 years I've lived here. I probably went on close to 100 first dates in the first year here - I was bored, give me a break - and many since then in addition to joining an online social network that creates real time friendships. I'm constantly running into this situation of knowing someone who knows someone who... Example: I met a girlfriend at the gym and she tells me she's got a date with a really tall hunka hunka burnin' love - really tall? how tall? - 6'7'' - Is his name John? Example: My boyfriend is showing me pictures of his last birthday party and someone in the picture reminds me of someone...Is his name Tom? Example: Having dinner with another girlfriend who tells me her recent x, Joe, is a gas station attendant - is he Korean and drives a blue KIA Spectra? Yes, I'd met, contacted or dated each of the above and it was always weird finding out that we had that person in common. I can only anticipate the Internet creating more of these strange situations and overlaps and I can't figure out if that's a good thing or not.

PS - I did, in fact, change names and details above for privacy sake - maybe totally unnecessary, but really how hard was it and who cares?