It’s currently two and a half hours after I was supposed to meet my new beau for a drink and it’s slowly dawning on me that I’ve been stood up. I’ve been alternately doing other things to keep my mind from acknowledging this possibility and staring at my cell phone willing it to ring. If I could further bend the universe to my will, he would be apologetic and have a damn good excuse for not only tonight’s mishap, but the general change in the chemistry between us in the last two weeks. So, now you know that my beau stood me up and that we aren’t getting along so well – you’re probably thinking I’m a real schmo or a loser. Well, not exactly. You know that phrase “I’m every woman?" Well, I’m every single.
I’m a single-thirty something: blond, fairly good looking, ravishingly well-educated, smart, funny and I sport a rather impressive front end that tends to turns heads. I put the sparkle in the party punch without a lot of empty calories. So why am I on the Internet bemoaning my stood up state? Because I’ve been meaning to write a letter to the fellows to share a few tips about women and this is a prime opportunity to address one common cause for premature break-ups: getting stood up.
Getting stood up sucks. It’s a waste of time at best and may reflect a lack of respect in general at worst. (Or maybe it gets worse?) No one likes to be stood up and I imagine that most decent human beings don’t like doing it. What to do? Well, if you are the stand upper, call immediately and apologize. Do not pass go or collect $200 and never, under any circumstances, tell her that you were with another woman or having so much fun you lost track of time. You’ll find that as much of an Honest Jane as I am, I believe there is a time for omission and this is one of those times. Stand uppees, go to the gym and work it off. I ended up doing my personal best mile time and met a hot man with great delts.