My partner has been studying for a certification exam for the last several months and today, he took it and passed it with a perfect score! I'm so proud of him and find myself feeling particularly inspired to get on with my own board exams.
Not only was his example inspiring, but I was also inspired by my own reaction to it. I was happy for him. Can you tell that I bolded that period? I'm stressing that because that was it - that was my reaction. I was just happy for him. Okay, that and proud of him and inspired. Not jealous, not guilty, not snarky, not sad, not taking it personal, just happy. And that's something kind of new for me.
After the fact, I kind of remembered, "oh yeah, I would normally take this really personally and be upset with myself" for not passing my board exam, for not studying enough for it then or now, for not having it scheduled or having a plan. But I saw that come up, after I'd already noted how happy I was for him, and I just let it go. I just chose not to have that reaction and to just be happy for him and inspired to get back on track with my own exam.
And this is the second time that something like this has happened. When I found out that my good friend was pregnant, something I'd been dreading for the pain I anticipated it causing me, I was also just happy. For her and her husband, of course, but also for me! I get to meet another new human being and potentially be a part of his or her life for a long time. Again, after the fact, I realized that I could feel some pain about this, but I just didn't want to. I wanted to be happy about it.
I had thought about using CHOOSE as my word for 2009, which would really have fit in well for this, but I do think that my dancing is helping me choose happiness, because I feel so good when I'm dancing that it does spill out into other arenas of my life. So, I'm going to keep choosing happiness and keep dancing.