Saturday, July 19, 2008

Lessons Learned

I'm feeling 100x better today than the last several weeks. These 'negotiations' I've been talking about have really been stressing me out and they are finally through! Resolution at last. An agreement has been reached. That was pretty much the most important thing to me anyways - that we came to an agreement. I realized as this kept going that I could just give in on the details, so long as I wasn't bullied or shamed into it. I just wanted both sides to come to the decision organically.

I keep using that word that way: organically. I mean some form of naturally, as in what is natural for that person. For example, this other person kept referring to logic and how a logical explanation was needed while I was talking about my feelings and how this or that felt good or bad to me. For him, making decisions based on logic is what is comfortable, whereas for me, I would be unable to make a decision without bringing my 'feeling' about a situation into it. Could be the man-woman thing contributing to that too. We're just different.

So, yesterday I decided that I would let go of what I was fighting for - this wouldn't be my only opportunity to 'have' this thing, so I decided I would make my needs my priority in this, even (and especially) if they were feeling based needs - I asked for another conversation about it, asked for more information from the other party and kept my needs firmly in sight. Seen (in my head), but not heard, so to speak. One of the things I learned from this situation is that sometimes, perhaps often times, it's best to say a little less. The other major lesson I got from this experience is to always remind the other guy that the final resolution was their idea in the first place.

And now I get to pack.

1 comment:

Lee Kindler said...

Hi, I'm doing a segment called 'my place in cyberspace' on my blog where I interview a random person from cyberspace-kind of like a 'word on the street'that you read in the newspaper. It would be great if you could participate. You can just reply to this post and I will cut and paste the answers into my blog ( .Here are the questions:

What is your name/alias?

What is the name of your blog?

What is your blog about?

Where in cyberspace have you travelled today?

What is your favourite place in cyberspace?

Can you give readers a link to an important website/article/blog that you think they should read?