I'm thinking a lot about time these days - perhaps I should not spend so much time on time as time is what seems to be lacking. My major stress is feeling like I don't have enough time - enough time to study, prepare for my patients, call them back, clean my house, play with my puppy, spend with my boyfriend, spend with my housemate, spend with other friends, pay my bills, etc., etc., etc... I do seem to make time to email my mom, write this blog, sing plenty karaoke on my home machine and go to basketball with my boyfriend. It's all a question of priorities, but mine seem to be skewed - I actually find myself wishing that I could just stay at my retail job, work regular hours and not have to think about my job when I'm not there. However, finding out that I will actually not be allowed to walk in my graduation ceremony if I don't meet certain serious upcoming deadlines has put my priorities into stark perspective.
I'm heading out of town this weekend and will probably not even take a book with me, since I'm going with my boyfriend and all that together time won't easily give opportunity for studying. However, I expect and plan to come back refreshed and ready to just "get 'er done." It's going to be challenging, but really what choice do I have? [Note: I CHOSE MY CHOICE!]
Another closely related point is the relative value that I place on other people's time. I actually do recognize that my commitments and obligations are not any more important than anyone else's, especially to anyone else, but this is something I struggle with. My colleagues and I are under such stress and have such constant deadlines that it seems that someone else's decisions, obligations and appointments often don't seem to have as much value in my mind. And yet paradoxically, I let other people devalue my time. Isn't that ironic?