I want corny holiday celebrations.
I admit it. Guilty. I raise my hand. Me. Yup. I want corny holiday celebrations. I want my holidays like I've seen them on the movies (kinda). I want to celebrate holidays with all the little kitch that comes with them. I want to dress up on Halloween, I want to hand out treats and tell all the little ghost and ghouls how scary they are. I want to put up lights and listen to Christmas music. I want to have pujas whenever there is any excuse to have one in our home. And I want to be grateful on Thanksgiving.
A and I headed over to a friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner and something just didn't feel right to me. I couldn't figure it out, but attributed it to our arrival about 30 minutes later than the rest of the group, though still well before the scheduled dinner hour. Since the food was ready, people were already seated and serving themselves when we arrived. Maybe we'd missed something. After dinner, we talked and laughed in smaller groups and rubbed our stuffed bellies until it was time to leave for our movie. After the movie, home to bed.
I kept thinking something didn't seem right...maybe I'd forgotten something? Yes, I had. I'd forgotten the point of the day: to be grateful. After my conversation with my mom, no one else talked about what they were grateful for or asked what anyone else was grateful for - at least not in my hearing. In retrospect, among the irreverant group of our dining companions, a listing of the simple things I am grateful for might seem out of place, but I think the large meal eaten without grace, a moment of silence or a sharing of thanks was more uncomfortable.
A and I talked about how we really wanted to have spent the holiday, casually among a small group of close friends or family, with a reasonable meal and games afterwards. I think among that group, for whom I am grateful, I wouldn't feel the need to say my thanks as feeding and entertaining them would be a more physical expression of my gratitude. On the other hand, I also think I would feel safer and happier to share my gratitude with such loved ones. Either way, I think I would like to make a point of verbalizing everything I'm grateful for at least once a year.