What happened and how I felt or how I felt I was perceived:
Tuesday - late to meeting (irresponsible)
stuck in traffic on the way to a party (poor planner)
stayed only briefly at that and another party (bad friend)
didn't want to talk to anyone except my close friends (antisocial)
changed my mind on an important decision (pushover)
Wednesday - got rebuffed at work (over eager)
was told "that would be nice" in a nasty tone when I offered help (lazy worker)
forgot appointment (irresponsible)
boyfriend realized we might not see each other for several days (bad girlfriend)
Thursday - forgot that I was supposed to come in early (irresponsible)
The end result is that I find myself wanting to withdraw from society even further. I don't want to offer up ideas at work, I just want to do what I'm told. I don't want to make social plans because they backfire either due to traffic (that makes me extremely bitchy) or not feeling up to being social. I just want to end my relationships before I get my feelings hurt any more and I want to go it alone. That said, I know escapism doesn't work and I don't really want to be alone. So, I'll take this weekend as a break, hit the reset button and try to do whatever it takes to get myself back on track.
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