Another One of Those Weeks

It's another one of those weeks when I'm feeling swamped and like I keep thinking "I want to blog about that" and can't remember what it was a second later.

Even though I'm feeling swamped, I still feel pretty good. I'm beginning to realize that once I finish my board exam, this is what life could be like. I could have two days off per week to just mess about and recuperate. I could have my evenings free to do whatever I want. I could have energy to mess about and do whatever I want.

Right now it feels like adding studying for my final board exam always puts me over the edge. Just adding that one thing (which is really hours of that one thing) overtips my schedule and my energy such that I become whiny, bitchy, needy and overwrought. Watching A study for his certification exams has been somewhat inspiring, though, and I want to get back on that train.

I'm thinking I need to schedule in my study times again, in small blocks, almost every day. If I can take 1 practice test each evening and study for a good block on each of my days off or days that I get off work early, I think I could be ready in a couple of months. I guess if I can schedule in the gym, I can schedule in my studying.

Maybe just need to take a few of those Rock Band and Wii events off the calendar for a while. :)

Burning the Candle at Both Ends

I never thought, in a million years, that someone (besides my mother) would tell me I'm not eating enough. And I also never thought I would believe it, but now I do.

I just got over being sick. I ended up taking two days off work, staying in bed for three. On the fourth day, I felt a little bit better, so I started packing and moving and returned to work. This is day five and I packed and moved two truck loads and worked another shift today. My boss told me yesterday that I wasn't eating enough and that my body needs more fuel to deal with the illness, the stress of moving and working. He asked me to list what I had eaten yesterday and I could barely remember, but it wasn't that much. I scoffed at that, because who can trust a man telling me that I shouldn't be drinking plain water, but that even sugar water would be better for me right now. I'm still not buying that one - sugar water is not good for anyone anytime - but I do believe he may be onto something about not eating enough.

When I went to work today, I got shaky when my lunch break was 15 minutes overdue, so I bought more food than I really needed and ate it with more haste than was wise. Maybe I'm not eating enough to sustain this work load...but maybe more important than eating more is working less. Maybe I'm doing too much. I feel much better today than yesterday and 10x better today than the day before, but I can feel that I need more sleep and restful time. In the middle of the moving work today, I stopped and swam with friends. My moving partner seemed a little frustrated that I suggested a break in the afternoon until I reminded her that I was working the evening shift after a full day of moving that started with her 7am wake up call. That swim helped me feel refreshed, but the swimming and pool side chat only lasted 30 minutes.

There is no help for working hard tomorrow since the movers are coming on Friday, but after the movers on Friday, I need to shift my focus and start getting some rest. No more of this hectic, frenetic moving around. I promise myself that this Friday thru Sunday, I will sleep 8 hours each night, walk the dog around the ponds at my new place, take a swim in the pool and lay around my condo for at least an hour with a good book. If I'm not completely unpacked and moved in within a weekend, who cares? And, frankly, who's going to notice?

Tired of Being Tired

I'm 30 years old and I've been in school for 26 years, excepting summer vacations (for most of that time) and 1 year after undergrad when I didn't know what to do. I've been tired for at least the last three years, although I remember getting sent home during undergrad because of "acute fatigue" where I was almost falling down after walking across campus to school. (I fell asleep in all my classes then. Incidentally, all the mono tests came back negative, but I'm not sure they ever tested me for anemia or thyroid problems.)


I haven't been sleeping well...maybe the heat, maybe wanting A beside me, maybe just being jazzed up from getting off work at 11...and I've been tired most of the day every day...maybe the heat, maybe boredom, maybe procrastination. And I'm tired of feeling tired.


I do all this stuff to make myself more healthy, but I still don't feel strong because I'm always tired. I get up at 6:30 to take the dog out and often don't go back to bed. This week (and the next two) I won't be going back to bed, because I'm taking a 7am Taiji (yes, that's Tai Chi - see How to Read Chinese) class.


Today and Thursday I also see my personal trainer. Since it's been awhile since I trained or took measurements, I got weighed and measured today and low-and-behold I'm up in almost all areas (except my neck, which is two inches smaller than when I started - how's that for interesting?). When I mentioned that I might not buy another training package ($619 for 10 sessions!), he gave me an assignment to write down the top 5 advantages I get from training. I can see where this is going, but I also feel like doing an hour and half of Taiji in the tranquil park setting was more beneficial to my energy than spending an hour pumping iron until my back and legs are screaming for mercy. I don't need a trainer breathing down my two-inch thinner neck to keep me on my cardio, either, especially in summer with options such as kayaking, hiking, rollerblading and cycling. My chiropractor recommends resistance training 6 months a year only, so maybe I'll take the rest of the summer off and re-evaluate then.


And my job - I asked for this wacky schedule where I get off at 10:30-11pm every evening. I thought having my days free would help me study, but unfortunately I'm still not getting anything done, because I spend most of my morning working out, eating then recovering from both of the above. Not sure if this is serving me. Finally, I have been offered a residency for the fall. It's about 50 hours per week and not very well compensated. It's a return to the school environment and a delay in starting my private practice. And I feel like it's going to make and keep me...ding, ding...tired!


I think I need to reinstate my priorities - health, happy home, financial stability and professional success - in that order.