Squirrely Day

I started my day with a "meeting" which could really have been a 5-10 minute phone conversation and a hand off. It was also social, though. Not sure how I feel about that since I'm trying to keep my social obligations nil this week.

Keeping social obligations nil this week, because I'm studying hard for my last board exam. I just worked for 2.5 hours straight then broke for a late lunch and after this post, I'm back at the books for another 2.5 hours.

A misheard me Sunday night when I told him and some other friends that I wouldn't be out much (socially) this week due to my exam next Tuesday. Somehow he heard me say that I had an event at the Siam Society this Tuesday and we went around and around for hours before we figured that out, because I swore that I didn't know anything about an event at the Siam Society.

The CSA weighs on my mind. I haven't been blogging what we get because I just don't know. I haven't been keeping up with knowing what we get or doing anything with it. I know we get lettuce every week and I think that two grown salad-eating adults with healthy appetites should be able to get through a head of lettuce every week, but I've had to start giving it away. I'm making pickles and sauerkraut this weekend (and freezing green beans) to try not to lose everything. We also got a beautiful eggplant, with which I look forward to making rawvioli.

So, it's back to the books now for me and the window out of which I hope to spy the little squirrel that I watched rolling around in the dirt while I ate my lunch. I grabbed take-out and drove back to the library, parked in the shade and listened to my book on CD while I ate. He was little and really cute and I wished I had a video camera to film his adorable antics. That and some food will have to sustain me a couple more hours while I finish my studying for today.

The Key to Good Relationships is...Less Communicating?

The other day, I told E, "We need to hang up - we're just making stuff up now." We weren't literally making things up, but we were making up things to talk about...bringing things up in the conversation that were inconsequential and irrelevant just to keep talking. E and I have been known to speak on the phone for hours at a time and often laugh about how much worse/better/more it was when we lived together - at that time, a quick bathroom break or a night of sleep would be just enough time apart to catch our breaths and come up with even more to talk about!

Lately, we've been having a harder time finding time to actually talk on the phone, so we've started leaving each other long voicemail messages...by long, I mean that the voicemail system actually cuts us off because we have "exceeded the time allowed..."


...and then we sometimes call right back and keep talking...


...for as many as 4 messages worth. That's about 20 minutes of voicemail. I like to blame E for this situation, because, let's face it, the girl can talk! But I am equally culpable for it and may, in fact, have started it, because I have a minimum 30 minute commute each way every day to work. I have tried to curtail this lately - I suggested we try emailing one another a couple of times a day instead - but you know it's gotten out of hand when you have to state that the RULE (as opposed to the exception thereto) is that you listen to one anther's messages when you can and that they are not important unless we text one another otherwise. The RULE is that our messages are not important. There's something wrong with that, right?

E's step mother once told her that "The key to any successful relationship is communication." Well, in addition to my original response, which was "No shit, Sherlock," I'd like to refer to the following:

Do Less communicating. Less talking, less yelling, less arguing, less emails and IM and Twittering, less phone calling. While I think communication is extremely important, and should be one of the keys to any relationship, I also think we do it too much. Especially as most of it becomes nothing but jabbering at each other, with very little actual listening. It is noise. Let silence into your life. Let stillness pervade our minds. When you do communicate, make it count, make it sincere, and more than you talk, listen. Make every email count. Only IM when it’s necessary. Spend less time on the phone and Twitter and Blackberry and iPhone, and more time with humans, more time with yourself, more time in the present.

[Emphasis mine.] This, from the Zen Habits blog, which I found by Googling "best blogs" and checking out Time's 2009 Top 25 Blogs. As they say in the film industry, "I have no notes." I cannot even think of what to add to that as it is a finer summary than I could come up with. And it fully expresses my opinion of Twittering - who wants to be Tweeted for God's sake with all the other electronic/media/noisy chatter filling up our lives already?! So, dear friends and readers, enjoy the silence.

Conflict Creates Contact

Errr...bad Internet connections drive me crazy. I suppose this isn't like an email. I shouldn't just change the entire nature and content of my post just because I lost what I'd written due to a bad public Internet connection, but that is exactly what I'm going to do.

The basic gist of what I was going to write was the conflict creates/is contact and that has value, even though it's difficult for me. I hate conflict, contradiction and confrontation. And I could learn a lot from my dog. If someone sniffs his rear end a little too closely, he growls or nips them, but they can still play together within moments. Conflict doesn't have to be the end of a relationship.

That was the gist of my previous post condensed. Now I really want to say how sexy I feel in these shoes. They're really high heeled and strappy and I've noticed several people checking them out at the cafe where I'm writing. I painted my nails bright pink right today and am wearing a black knit skirt with excellent flare, so everything looks smashing. There's something extra sexy about having had the cobbler repair my shoes this week so that I can continue wearing them despite their previous flaws. I need to remember how good this feels and wear great shoes more often. And despite their height, they aren't even as uncomfortable as the flat shoes I wore to work today.

Thank YOU!

I was trying to work out what my thoughts were on a particular line my friend said this weekend and I couldn't quite get the posting right. I would like to say I realized the meta-message is that I am so grateful for the people in my life. I am at a place in my life where I am not spending time with people out of default (most of the time). Generally, I choose to spend time with people I enjoy. If you're reading this and know me, I CHOOSE YOU. Thank you for being the person you are and an important part of my life.

I also choose COMMUNICATION. I realized last night that my level of frustration this past week has been high because I have premeditated resentment (i.e., expectations) as well as swallowed responses thereto. I worked out for myself what the issues are the require being communicated and look forward to honestly, but compassionately (for me and the other person involved in this scenario) communicating my needs and desires. Instead of "not getting what I want, but getting what I need," I realize I'll never get what I need if I don't ask for it!

Finally, met goal #1 and have been spreading the word about 101 goals. I organized the list around themes and posted it in my office. One of my friends laughingly said I'll probably do a lot of goals in the first and last months - she may be right, but at least they'll have been made and met!